Missing A Piece
by Confessed4Life
Summary: Set during 'Cursed' of season 1. Feeling out of control, Kahlan wears a Rada'Han, desperate to keep herself from harming anyone. Finding himself beside her, Richard has the perfect opportunity to show her his love for her.


Pushing the door open, Richard stepped inside, looking around. Within moments he saw her, laying on the bed, facing away from the door. Moving slowly, he made his way towards her. He needed to know if she was alright. The last time he saw her, hours ago, she had locked away a part of herself in fear. He now hoped that she had changed her mind. Upon reaching her side, his heart broke. The Rada'Han was still around her neck as she slept.

Reaching down to her, he gently laid his hand on her shoulder to wake her. As she rolled over to face him, he realized that he didn't know what he was going to say to her. To gather some time, he sat down on the bed beside her and waited for her to rub the sleep out of her eyes. She looked tired, but still he had never thought she looked more beautiful. Without thinking, he reached out to her and gently tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, moving it from her face.

At first, he thought she was going to pull away, but she didn't. She stared at him, her eyes locked on his as he moved, as though seeing his thoughts. He hopped that she couldn't. Taking in a deep breath, he trailed his fingers over her cheek and down her neck, stopping at the cold metal, that now left a red mark on her neck from where it pressed against her skin as she slept. Pain filled his eyes, but not for the small mark. He felt that he somehow had made her feel it was necessary for her to wear it, though part of him knew that it wasn't true. At least not completely true. She had scared herself- had scared him, but it didn't change anything. He didn't think any differently about her, nor did he trust her less. He had pulled her back from the grip of the magic and she had not hurt anyone.

The silence echoed through the room as their eyes remained locked on each other's. Kahlan, laying on her back, tried to keep her mind from spinning, from begging her to take him. She could not hurt him. Not now. She had to think of something else. There had to be a reason he had come to her, something must be wrong. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." he said quickly, his mouth dry making his voice raspy. "I wanted to make sure you were alright."

A soft smile crossed her lips as she nodded. "I'm fine, now that I can't hurt anyone."

"You could never hurt anyone, Kahlan. I know you."

She swallowed the lump in her throat as the images of what she had done flooded her mind once again. "I almost did. I almost hurt you- I can't control it."

"That doesn't mean that you have to hide it away. Maybe you just need some time."

She sat forward, his hand falling from her neck, "Time? Richard next time, I may kill someone. I may kill you." she said as she reached up and took hold of the Rada'Han. "This is the only way I can't hurt you."

Richard didn't know what to do with his hands, so he did what came to him at once. Taking her face in his hands, he pulled her towards her, gently holding her a few inches from him. "You could no more hurt me, than I could hurt you."

Her mouth opened, ready to spill what she had kept secret for so long, but she couldn't. Turning away, she covered her mouth with her hand and shook her head. "I can't - Richard, when I'm in the ConDar, I can't stop myself-"

"But you did."

"No." she whispered, turning her head back to him. "I didn't stop myself. You stopped me. You kept me from destroying Corah."

Richard shook his head slowly, grabbing her hands and holding them tightly in his. "You would have stopped. You just needed some time to realize who-"

"No. If you hadn't stopped me, I would not have- You saved her. I can't risk it again. It may be you next time."

"And if it is? Kahlan, if you were going to hurt me, you would have the other night when I told you to stop. I saw your eyes, you still knew who I was. You were taken over by the ConDar and you still knew who I was. That means that you were still there, you were still in there and that's why you stopped, why you released Corah. You heard me talking to you and you came back. You were still there." his eyes were locked on hers, hoping that she would see the truth without her magic.

Breathing deeply, she looked away from him as she pulled her hands from his. She couldn't touch him at this moment, not when she told him. "I don't think that I was. From what I can remember, I wanted to hurt you. Richard, you were trying to keep me from destroying Corah and I wanted to punish you for it."

His mind raced for a moment, wondering what it would have been like if she had punished him. "But you didn't." He replied softly, his eyes falling to her lap, where her hands laid. "Kahlan," he breathed out her name softly, his hands moving to hers. The moment she turned her head towards him, he looked up, pleasantly surprised when she pressed her lips against his.

He kissed her back, pulling her to him as he wrapped his arms around her. She pressed herself into him, finding the warmth of his arms comforting. Gripping at his shoulders, she grabbed his shirt and pulled, lifting it up his back as she reached down, trying to get her hands on the exposed flesh. Pushing forward, he laid her back onto the bed, moving a knee onto the other side of her hip. Laying over her, he moved his lips quickly from hers, trailing kisses over her chin and along her jaw.

Their hands moved over the other'' as they pulled at their clothes. As she pulled his shirt over his head, he sat up on his knees above her, breathing heavily as he looked down at her. "Kahlan, you don't want to do this."

"Why not?" she whispered, suddenly feeling self-consciousness.

"Because you're not you when you're wearing that." he reached to the Rada'Han that encircled her neck. "It's keeping part of you locked away."

"The dangerous part."

Richard gave her a small smile, "You're not dangerous to me."

"I'm more dangerous to you than any other." she said softly as she lifted her hand and laid it over his, which still lingered on the metal around her neck. "Except when I am wearing this." Her eyes fell from his and laded for a moment on his chiseled chest, making her heart pound. "I can't hurt you now."

Richard could see the meaning in her eyes, but he didn't have to. He knew what she meant all too well. Her fingers still laid over his, igniting his flesh with a fire of desire that burned as it always had when he was near her. One touch from her always sent his body into a wave of passion, it took every ounce of his restraint to keep a fair distance from her afterwards. But he didn't have to this time. Here she lay beneath him, eyes staring hungrily at his chest, willing to give herself to him. But she wasn't herself, he told himself. The Rada'Han hid a part of her.

"Take it off." he whispered, pulling his hand away from her and the metal that encircled her neck.

"Kiss me." she countered, raising her eyes to his.

He shook his head, but kept eye contact. "Not until you take it off."

"I can't kiss you without it."

"No, you won't. Kahlan, you can, but you're afraid to."

"Of course I'm afraid! Richard, I'm terrified to-" she stopped and closed her eyes as she took in a deep breath. "I don't want to hurt you." she whispered.

"You don't have to be."

She opened her eyes to his words, "Yes I do, but not right now. Right now, I'm just-"

"Like all the other women?"

"Yes."

Staring down at her, he tilted his head in sadness. "You will never be like all the other women." he whispered, grabbing her hand. "Kahlan, you're better than them all."

A single tear fell from the corner of her eye as she looked up at him. "But, I can never love you like they can."

His heart sunk down, filling him with pain. Lowering his head, he pressed his lips against hers once again, this time, holding her arms down to the bed, rendering her unable to touch him as he kissed her. Lifting her arms, he held them over her head. Part of him hoped that she would stop him, that she would realize that she was different this way, but the rest of him knew that she wouldn't. She wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her. She didn't move her arms when he pulled his hands away, somehow she knew not to. Richard sat back up, looking down at her as he pulled at the white laces of her dress.

He noticed the pulsing of a vein in her neck as he worked, now pushing open soft fabric, exposing her corset. She wished she wasn't wearing it. It kept her hidden from the one man she wished to see her. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. Even covered by the leather of her corset, Richard found her body more beautiful than anything else. He was going to give her everything that she deserved, everything he was able to give her. Himself.

Unable to keep away from her much longer, he leaned back down to her, pressing his lips to the parts of her chest that were not covered, sliding his tongue out to get a better taste of her. She gasped softly at the sensation his tongue provided, bringing her hands up to his head, entangling her fingers into his hair as she held his face to her chest. He moved his hands over her sides, lifting her up so that he could wrap his arms around her. After a few moments, he grabbed hold of her white dress and began pulling it from her, needed to feel more of her skin. She pulled her arms free of the sleeves quickly, before returning her touch to the exposed skin of his back.

Laying before him in only her corset, Kahlan sat forward, just slightly lifting herself off of the bed so that he could reach behind her and take hold of the strings of her corset. He pulled at them frantically, desperate to remove the last piece of her clothing. The moment it was loose enough to be pulled from her, he tossed it to the floor and looked down at her. Her beauty took his breath from his lungs. He had always known she was beautiful, but the sight before him was beyond what he could comprehend.

Her chest rose slowly with each breath, showing how deeply she was breathing. His eyes were locked on her, unable to return to her eyes, unwilling to leave the beautiful sight. "You're beautiful." He whispered.

Gently, he laid his right hand on her stomach and ran it slowly over her, feeling the softness of her pale skin. Her eyes closed as he came closer to her breast, her back, now arching off of the bed into his touch, begging him to take her in his hand. He didn't deny her body of it's want, of its need. Pressing his lips back to her skin, he began pressing quick kisses over her, being sure not to miss a single spot as he moved back to her lips.

As their lips connected together once more, she reached between them and grabbed the laces of his pants, pulling them free as she pushed them from his waist with her knees, before wrapping her legs around his. The blankets bunched up around them, as they pulled each other closer and closer, trying to have no space between them. Running his fingers over her skin, he reached down to her leg, lifting it higher as her pushed into her. A soft moan escaped them both as they found themselves completely as one, the sensation and realization threatening to overwhelm them. It was perfect.

Both were breathing heavily as he collapsed on top of her, unable to hold himself up any longer. Their hearts pounding together as they clutched the other in their embrace as though they were both afraid they would be swept away, never to be seen again. He could still feel the stinging heat from where her nails had dug into his shoulders and slid down his back, drawling light blood. He hoped the marks would remain there forever as a reminder of their love. Lifting his head from her chest, he met her eyes, still dark with passion.

"Where's the key?"

He followed her gaze up the the headboard, seeing the key hanging on a string over one of the many posts. "Richard," she whispered as he pulled it free and brought it to the metal around her neck.

"I want to have kissed every inch of you." he whispered as he unlocked it. "Trust me."

She nodded, staring at the Rada'Han that he laid beside her. The sound of her name brought her attention back to him, seeing the look in his eyes had not changed. He was no more afraid of her than he was before. He had no fear of her magic and it pained her. She wished that he did. She wished that he would be afraid to be close to her. That would make it easier for her, but he didn't. Leaning back down, he pressed his lips to her neck, where the metal had once been, taking his time with each kiss, emphasizing each one.

"Richard," she whispered again, as he laid his head down upon her chest, this time filled with a pain that hit him sharply. "we can never do this again."

"I know." he replied as he rolled off of her and onto his side, facing her.

"Then why did-"

"Because I wanted to show you how much I love you. Because I wanted to give you what you wanted, what you deserve. I wanted to love you. I wanted you to know, without a doubt what it's like to be with someone who loves you. Someone who loves you without being forced to. You deserve to experience that, to be loved."

She turned over towards him, blinking back the tears that collected at his words. "Thank you." she whispered softly, barely able to get the words out.

He grabbed her quickly as the tears fell, pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly against him. "You don't have to thank me for loving you."

"Yes I do." She whispered against his chest. "No one has ever loved a Confessor."

"That's because no one has taken the time to know them. Kahlan, you're more than a Confessor. That's just a small part of you. You shouldn't have to lock it away."

"I do. Until I learn to control it."

Releasing a sigh, Richard hugged her closer. "I'm not going to give it back until we get dressed."

Letting out a soft laugh, Kahlan closed her eyes as she nodded. "Alright."

***END***


End file.
